- n0t puRposLy -

already listen to my frens not to pick up quarrels unnecessary.
i already tried my veri best.
but we still quarrel!

yesterday, i was tickling him.
knew he scared of tickling but i still do it.
maybe i do overboard, he was angry.
so i stopped it, but he rested his face on bed.
nv turn back n look at me.

then i said, if he still dun look at me, i go home le.
when i took the keys, he came out from his room.
saying u r at fault, haven say sorry then u wan to run off.
everytime quarrel, u will turn away n wan me to console u even u r at fault.

wat i'm thinking is, if u realli understand the person u love, then there's no need to say sorry.
so i hug him n say sorry.
but he said tat my sorry not sincere. say so loud.
i told him my voice is always loud even saying sorrie.
n say y u cant change for me!

i was taken back by this sentence. i nv change for him!
he once told me to be myself. he love my character.
but he said that...
i was veri sad n hurt.

i nv change. then wat i'm doing all tis while. for fun?
i growing long hair as he say he like long hair ger.
he wans my hair to be black, i trying to grow my hair long n cut away the bleaching.
coz i dunno to waste money n dyed my hair black.
he wans me to eat vege > i trying to take le.
haing 3 meals a day > i'm doing le.
dun eat KFC > i trying also le.
knew his intention is gd. coz it's gd for my health.
wearing skirt to be more ladylike.
dun wear large size top > i'm trying le.
if all the while i'm doing is not for him, then i dunno wat to do le.
maybe for myself also.

trying to be more presentable when being with his frens.
trying to change myself to adapt to him.
changing needs time > n i trying le.

I once say to myself dun change becoz of anyone even though the person u love.
Coz if he realli loves u, he will accept ur positive n the most is ur negative.
i told him, i wont change for anyone.
but which ger will not change for thier bf.
i said it but i still changing.

he cant see it! sigh...
maybe its my fault.
he's such a nice guy n muz adapt to me (the wild ger)
how can he adapt to my life?

feeling so miserable, hurt n sad...... :(